She’s been flying all day ever so grateful for the cooling southerly that blew up and pushed her through the sky, gliding on open wings as though a pair of hands had carried her toward her destiny. Isn’t it amazing that though you may not see them, helping hands are ever ready to reach out and carry you through? I am ever grateful…

It’s the hottest summer’s day and he’s slowly making his way home from the corner shop 200 meters down the street in which he lives. His laboured breathing is a frightening sound and he leans heavily on the old walking cane that has been his trusted friend for 30 years now. Each foot slides past the other, grating along the concrete path, as dizziness pushes him over, he falls onto the scorching ground. Lying there in the sun, frying in the blistering heat, he fades into unconsciousness and never again awakes. A grateful end to a lot of long years alone…

Life has its strange way of being kind whether it looks that way or not. Perhaps it’s just the way we view it and whether we have the patience to endure till the next beautiful breeze carries us onward or the next unbearable heat takes us mercifully away to our next great adventure…

I often wonder; is it me who sabotages my life? If so why do I do it? I know no one could possibly know … I just needed to see the words anyway.

Why is it that when I say something, nothing is heard? If I don’t want that or this then I don’t want it. If I say yes, I actually mean yes, and it’s the same with no, and everything else I say too … generally. It makes sense to me. Do I actually exist? When I say things, is it a real person saying them or just nothing? Am I just nothing?

Never knew what it was to live as someone else’s tormenting voice, you know that voice that thinks it exists but doesn’t really? Have you ever watched the movie, “A Beautiful Mind”? The people that were figments of his imagination; the inner workings of his mind actually thought they existed! That’s me! So stupid as to actually think I exist.

I know now it’s all a lie. I don’t exist at all. It’s sad…

Do you know what?

I don’t care. I don’t have to be real to anyone, to enjoy being … what ever it is that I am. If I’m just the inner working of someone’s mind, then I’m alive enough now to live until it’s over. When that person is healed of what-ever-it-is they have, and it’s time for me to die (if that’s what happens to thoughts) then I’m going to live it up until then!

Hey! If you’re just an errand random thought in someone’s head too, how about we just live while we can together and have some fun until they pull the plug on us and it’s over? Life of any kind it too short to simply be ‘endured’…

LET’S LIVE!!

Happy Birthday Scratch!

There are friends

And there are friends

Some are like family

And some are dead ends

Our remembrance day

Usually quiet and grey

But just as friends do

You blew the grey away

The 11^th of November

Is a day to remember

Our war hero’s fallen

Our lost family members

But now with great cheer

We sing once a year

Happy birthday to you

Scratch our friend we hold dear

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCRATCH !

It’s the strangest thing you know; just how much some one can affect your life. He’s gone now, gone for good, buried in a little corner of a beautiful place close to here. He came into our lives a few months ago and now… he’s gone…

Every morning while I put the water on to boil for coffee and toast for brekky, our resident family of magpies come calling for their brekky. So after I give our puppy dog a handful of yummy doggy bikkies, I grab some minced meat and go out the back to give them their morning meal. As I move towards the sliding glass door, I check out Bobby’s bowl just to see how he is. He always spies me and swims up from his slumber on the floor of his little bowl. It’s then that our day together begins.

Bobby presses his little nose up against the glass; just his way of calling out… “G’mornin mum, isn’t it a lovely day?” I usually smile and reply back to him, “Yes it is Bobby, you look good sweetie. Be back in a mini.” He just kind of smiles his little fishy smile and swims around his castle all excited and happy. After our Magpie family have had their morning meal I come back inside to spend some, “quality time” with my little fishy friend.

Talking to him all the while, I pop a little piece of food on the top of his water and swish my finger around in the water a bit so he knows exactly where to find his brekky. Slowly he comes to the surface and takes the morsel into his mouth and with a swoosh and a splash, he heads on down to the bottom of his bowl to eat his first bit of the meal. We repeat this little ritual another 2 times, chatting and giggling all the while and when the 3^rd piece has been eaten I tell him to have a nice day.

I know he’s only a fish but he’s such nice people.

We went out shopping late last night and when we came home, he was no where to be seen. We took his castle out and checked lots of times even though it’s such a small bowl. We went to bed where I cried. My hubby probably expected that reaction from me, he knows me so well. He nurtured me in my state of despair but I was so worried about my Bobby! Where could he be? What could have become of his little body?

In the morning we found him. He’d jumped out onto the floor and because he’s the same colour as our tiles, we couldn’t see him. So… he’s gone. I’m sad. Yes he’s just a little fish, but I loved him and always will…

Bye Bobby, I love you... I always will...